Muni's PlayMuni's PlayMuni's Play

4 Ways of Letting Go

3 min read

Source: Of Hermits and Lovers: The Alchemy of Desire (2017)

Renunciation is a developable capacity - a “muscle” that grows with practice. It serves as a necessary thread to cool the being and prevent the path from becoming unbalanced by the heat of desire.

1. Returning to Nourishment

Grasping and craving often arise because the “water in the reservoir is low.” When the being is under-nourished, the mind scans the environment for anything to provide relief.

  • Practice: Drop the pursuit and return to a nourishing mode like Metta (loving-kindness) or Samadhi (harmonization of the energy body).

  • Effect: Dwelling in a field of well-being directly addresses the underlying anxiety of the human condition. Over time, the muscle to drop the distraction and return to nourishment becomes stronger and more confident.

2. Connecting with Underlying Emotions

Chasing an object is often a way of covering over a heart state that feels uncomfortable or disconnected.

  • Practice: Have a look at the heart. Connect with the underlying emotion through the energy body.

  • Effect: The connection itself heals. By touching and holding the pain in caring awareness, the system is soothed and no longer feels propelled to chase out for a temporary shield or numbing agent.

3. Noticing the Pressure of Craving

Craving is not an easeful state; it is a sensation of tension and pressure. Frequently, we don’t even want the object as much as we want the “balloon of pressure” to burst so we can feel relief.

  • Practice: Treat the craving as a pressure cooker. Instead of acting on it, give it space in the awareness.

  • Effect: When you make the vessel bigger, the temperature goes down. If you allow the craving to bubble away without being “dragged into action,” it will eventually reach a peak and subside. This builds the capacity to tolerate discomfort and strengthens the being.

4. Wisdom Reflections

Reflection brings the “wisdom at the starting end” rather than waiting for the disappointment at the “end end” of a pursuit.

  • Reflecting on Satisfaction: How many times have I been through this before? Is getting this thing really going to fulfill me, or will it just lead to the next book to read or the next thing to want?

  • Reflecting on Impermanence: Use the gear of Anicca. Lives, galaxies, relationships, and mind states all come and go. Inclining toward beginnings and endings allows the mind to let go more easily.

  • Reflecting on Dukkha: Use the gear of Dukkha. This is not a philosophy but a way of looking. By regarding any arising sensation or state as unsatisfactory, the being naturally releases its grip because it recognizes the thing cannot ultimately satisfy.

Graph View